Recent studies are now backing up these methods, noting that parents who reported being more present with their children (expressing unconditional love and support, being attentive, nonjudgmental, nonreactive and setting limits versus using harsh punishments) correlated with more positive behavior in their children. This way of connecting holds the power to support keeping the lines of communication open so that you have a sense of what you teenager is going through.
One of the biggest problems I saw in my years on the front lines as a social worker was the extreme focus on disease, weakness and diagnosis. There was so much time and energy going into what was “wrong” with someone, that the person was pushed to the wayside and treated as nothing more than a number with a problem.
I've watched countless families drain their savings accounts seeking treatment and answers for what could have been addressed years in advance. I've seen people spend years in appointments, programs and with specialists all to get nowhere. I don’t want this to happen to you.
With an understanding of the adolescent brain along with the stages of change and your ability to check in with yourself rather than jumping to blaming your teen, there is opportunity for your family dynamics to shift. It might sound like a lot of work, but not when we consider the alternative. These tools have the power to empower you, save you time, stress and even your relationship.
My own adolescent years were turbulent, like so many of ours. It was my teachers and mentors who were my guiding lights and who kept me going. I felt like I belonged. They reminded me by truly seeing me. Did you have a person like this in your life? Imagine if you could be this person for your teen? Imagine if you could support them in this way?